The Teenage Crush That Happens Every Month. (from Musings & Confusings Blahg Excerpts 7/25/05)

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858a7b64-18ef-4c0e-b8d7-cd864a10ddf6An embarrassing admission, but ladies, I know you can relate!

Ok.

So, I’m ovulating again. It happens once a month. The ovary releases a little egg and some hormones elavate a bit…..um if you don’t know how it works, should you be reading this?

I am powerless to stop the effects of this little hormonal shift. It’s like kryptonite for my brain. I become insta-teenager.

The other time of the month I’m usually ready to order my “do it yourself home- hysterectomy kit,,” but a few weeks later I’m praying I’ll never go through menopause ’cause I just feel so groovy. 

In some ways, it’s kinda like that other “time of the month.” I get a little more emotional & I don’t sleep well or at all.

However, unlike that other,” time of the month,” the one where, “Aunt Flo” visits, I don’t get moody or crabby. In fact I want to LOVE EVERYONE! In the worst way!

My taste is terribly indiscriminate at this time so thank the goddess for my higher reasoning kicking in; if not my good taste!

I can kind of relate to cats who are in heat in that not only does everyone look like HOT MEAT (even if they are definately not) but it’s like this fabulous drug. All sensations are heightened. A little like pot & a little like acid, but not exactly. (Mom, if you are reading this, I am only going by what I’ve HEARD not from experience, ok?)

Another funny fact is that while normally, I could give a rats ass (other than a general healthy appreciation for good looks or admiration of their work) about famous people, actors and such, suddenly it is easy to see a film or pictures of an attractive actor and just get all light headed, weak in the knees, and a little moist in the nether regions.

If I could be a teenage girl for a few days each month I’d get on ebay and plaster my walls with pictures of these gorgeous men and masterbate until I dropped!

So, since I am ovulating, I am dedicating this blog to…… (sigh) Hugh Jackman. I’m probably fixated on him because I just watched Van Helsing a few days ago and it was so bad that all I could be grateful for is how good the man looks in a cape and an Indiana Jones hat!

Besides just being friggin’ unbelievably gorgeous, he can actually act AND sing! Let’s face it, he was cool in X-men and sooo romantic in Kate & Leopold. He was delicious in Someone Like You with Ashley Judd (who is also delicious) even if the movie was just ok. If you, like, watch Van Helsing using the forward button frequently (and with the sound off) he’s really good in that too!

The man has beautiful teeth! He looks good no matter how stupid they do his hair! I’ll bet his farts smell like daffodils! If I were 14 I’d be fantasizing that he would leave his wife and kids for me and we’d live in a big house and do it all the time.

Oh God! I wasn’t even like this when I was 14! I was too cool to get these fixations! What happened to my brain?

Oh yeah. This is my brain on estrogen!

It’ll pass in a few days. Meanwhile, I’ll just have to enjoy and suffer the humiliation! Have a laugh at my expense; go ahead!

But you have to admit, he is kinda cute.

-LM

*I’ve posted this a number of times over the years and I get great responses every time. Seriously, the only time I get tongue-tied, short of breath and swoon about hot men is when I’m ovulating. Or when surrounded by firemen, but that is an entirely different story!

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3 thoughts on “The Teenage Crush That Happens Every Month. (from Musings & Confusings Blahg Excerpts 7/25/05)

  1. Love the warning to Mom! And I think I know what you mean. Prior to writing erotica (almost against my will as the characters were suddenly starving for each other) I tended to get the craving on my actual “period”. I think now it’s moved into the realm of what you’re discussing here.

    I definitely adore the humanity you bring to this issue. I am deeply touched. And yes, Hugh Jackman is a rather attractive man to me. Well done, I say!

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