We’ve got a bleeder! Get the leeches of love! Musing on healing by hemorrhage.

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woundedheart

Musing….

Everyone handles relationship changes differently. Sometimes we handle and process each relationship differently as well. For me, some breakups have been unexpectedly devastating while others that I thought would be painful were surprisingly easy to get over.

Most of the time we always recover, learn and move on. Many of us have unresolved relationships that leave a “what if?” that lingers. I’m generally able to be friends with my exes, the exception being really egregious behavior, like if they get abusive or try to kill me, etc. (gotta draw the line somewhere!) It’s also really hard to be friends when you both realize you have feelings for each other but for one reason or another it seems wrong to move forward. It happens.

Love and break ups and recovery run the gamut! It all happens.

It’s really difficult loving someone you can’t be with and sometimes its a struggle deciding if you really want to let them go. Do you want to wait, see if they get better, see if things change? Do you want to get over them, stop feeling for them? Or is it better to work through the heartache and loss without your feelings changing because the thought of not loving them anymore is even more terrible to you than the pain?

In olden times they used to cut people and bleed them thinking that it would get disease or poison out of them. Have you ever had someone in your heart you don’t want there? Have you ever wished you could cut yourself and let them bleed out of you? If you could do that, do you think someone could take root so deeply in your system that bleeding yourself dry wouldn’t work?

People, love and relationships can be so intense that it’s no surprise love with it’s delight and at the other extreme its pain has been the catalyst for so much constructive and destructive action and so many creative expressions.

*These thoughts are brewing. A song or a poem is percolating…..

I want to cut you out of me
No matter how much I have to bleed
I would gladly hemorrhage every drop of blood to get you out
You circulate
You pump through my veins, my brain, my heart
You make every cell in my body throb with longing
with missing you
And every tear stings and scrapes
Every cry is a whimper
Asking what I did wrong
And what’s wrong with me even though I know damned well
The answer is nothing

-LM

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