Conversations With THE KITTY: How Could you leave me?

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you'll never leave me*Often I am able to take my cat with me when I have house-sitting assignments but recently she had to endure several weeks of her human coming home to feed and care for her and then leaving again. When I came home to stay she was beside herself. She purred for days on end and had to be on me or next to me at all times.

 I come into the house after my housemate and I do the big car shuffle. Just inside the door I hear LiLi all the way from upstairs!

LiLi: Mom? Mom! Mom!
ME: I’m coming.
LiLi: Now! Hurry up!
ME: I’m coming. Hang on.
LiLi: Not fast enough! Moooooom!
ME: Gimme a minute. Mom has to use the litter box for humans!
LiLi: Nooooooooow!
ME: Damn! The Girlfriend is in there. Ok. You first.
LiLi: Open the damn door already! I WANT MOM!

*Entering the room cat and human run into each other’s arms in slow motion, which means what actually happened is I plop down on the bed and LiLi puts her butt in my face*

LiLi: Pppppppuuuuuuuuuuur! I put my butt in your face!
Me: Yeah. Mommy missed you too!
LiLi: PPPPPUUUUUUUURRRRR: I crash my head into your boobs now!
Me: Well, I’ll just rub your ears, Ok?
LiLi: You will never leave me again!
Me: I wish I could promise that Merph!
LiLi: You made me drool with happiness! Rub my belly!
Me: I hate to interrupt the love fest Lounge Monkey San, buy I need to pee and bring in my groceries from the car!
LiLi: No! I sit on you now!
Me: I’ll be back, really. Look! I let Hades block Stacey the car in! I can’t go anywhere!
LiLi: Merrrrr This is most inadequate.
Me: Merph. Mom has to do stuff. You have to deal.
LiLi: You do not fear me adequately.
Me: *sigh* I fear you. I have tremendous fear of you, Ok? Can I get my groceries now?
LiLi: Most inadequate. When you return I shall put my butt on you. You will be ex-purr-minated!

expurrminatemy dalek likes to hide in boxes

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