In Memento Mori

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2015-05-27_02.54.55We are all dying from the moment we are born.
So goes the cliche.
But we don’t feel ourselves dying and we try not to think of it.
Those of us in pain
Often say we feel like we are dying
But in some ways we are more aware of our aliveness
Because of it.
I suppose you become
Aware of the feeling of cells
Crumbling apart once you have a fatal disease
In addition to the one we all.were born with
Things make us aware of our mortality
All the time but do we feel it
I think there comes a time when you know
The jig is up
Still, you tell yourself you’re having a temporary setback
Maybe you’re going to be fine but your body
Is just giving you a preview of coming attractions
You tell yourself there’s no way to know for sure
When death will come to punch your ticket
But you know that cells are dying all the time
And suddenly you know that you are in tune with that
And it’s scary
Because it doesn’t feel good
It’s not like drifting away gently
But it feels just as helpless
Irreversible
And you want to go back
Or at least not to feel this
Pulling you under
Slowly stopping your breath
Like a clock winding down
Another metaphor
Another cliche
You can’t avoid

-LM 2015

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