Another Mothers Day Blog



I don’t have the spoons to write a big Mother’s Day blog this year.

Mother’s Day is one of the rough ones for me. Honestly, ALL of the, “in your face commercialized holidays” are rough when you have painful family issues. It’s probably just as well, I’m still recovering and slept through the whole day. I missed most of the cheery, teary sugar and schmaltz and that’s just fine with me.

Some people I know and care about lost moms recently. Some have mothers who had health scares or were in the hospital this year. I want to send extra love to those who are missing their mothers and to those for whom Mother’s Day has extra meaning because they weren’t sure there mother’s would be here this year.

As always, I want to acknowledge those for whom Mother’s Day hurts because their relationship with their mother is/was difficult, terrible or absent. I want to acknowledge those mother’s who pulled out all the stops to love and protect their child but lost them anyway through death, drugs, mental illness or just emotional distance. I want to shout out to all the heroic parents who have had to be both Mom and Dad to their kids. And I want to give a big hug to all those Moms whose kids happen to be furry, feathered or scaled. You aren’t less than because you chose to nurture a pet rather than pop out a hooman. You have your reasons. It’s cool. Maternal love doesn’t discriminate.

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You slip in and out of my mind like the tide
Teasing and tugging the water back to the sea
A ghost climbing in a window then slipping out the back door

Sometimes you sit on my breath, hanging there
An icicle considering the thaw
Much like the way that I used to melt kitten-like in your lap
As I still long to do, but nothing’s to be done for it now

Going back would be like falling down stairs
It might break every bit of me

Standing still is freezing, burning
I haven’t the patience to be statuary
Marking time in some corner of the garden where the spiders spin and the leaves pile from neglect.

Going forward is a beast unknown
Or perhaps it is a birdsong
Ringing out the perimeters of it’s territory
Bursting with hope

I can long for it but it will come to its conclusion on its own schedule
There’s no point in pushing

I can wait here clutching your valentine in my lap
One fist clenched under my pillow
Full of desire and lament and pages unread

But I will also go on about my business
Like falling snow, migrating birds and commuter trains
My will in my pocket
My heart full of fire, feathers and pocket watch springs

I am breathing you in and out of my thoughts
Like the universe expanding and collapsing in on itself

Knowing that it could be really horrible. if you drag me backward
Yet really nice if you catch up to me someday
Matching me step for step

I know when I drop my hand in your direction
Our fingers will interlock with ease
It will feel familiar and comforting like a child’s paper snowflake
And yet delightfully new, minted, full of anticipation.

Fate lay in the curve of our bodies
Their automatic inclinations towards each other

But you said you don’t believe in fate
If you are so quick to dismiss it, why so wary
Fate is way more patient than I

And will give you many chances
To pull the curtains open on the day
To turn the key in the door
To find beauty in the truth

To see your fear suddenly, as only
A small hamster addicted to turning a wheel

Fate has handed you a compass
A map to the labyrinth
So you can find me

Wherever I may be, whatever state I am in
Whether I am waiting or running or holding my breath
Because I just want to hold the thought of you in my mouth
For one more minute

Whether I am pushing you out
Or letting you in

-LM 2013/2015