ADDITIONS

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martini alien blog

Art by Bob Canada, click illustration for more

There’s a backstory to this. I have a friend, writer J.D. Robinson aka Scamper, who among the plethora of interesting articles he loads in his feed, often posts to say he is writing science fiction. I usually counter that I am also writing (I am. Evidently there is some strange synchronicity between writers) and sometimes, if I am lucky, a humorous exchange ensues which just makes the crush my brain has on his brain more intractable. Thank Gods his brain is not from Scotland. (If you don’t get that reference, you should read my blog more often)

Me: Am Writing Poetry. Much less interesting than writing Sci Fi.
Scamper: Throw in some aliens, then we’ll see.
Me: Well, it’s open to interpretation. It could include aliens. *sigh* I only came here tonight to, “read the articles.” Now I feel challenged!
Scamper: Beh. I’m no poet. Aliens should be everywhere, I suppose.
Me: Challenge accepted! Never challenge a sleep challenged free verse poet unless you want a silly poem because I can’t resist spouting off some nonsense on the fly!

ADDITIONS

Things are always better
When you add a secret ingredient
Seven herbs and spices
A subtle flash of heat
Shake the cocktail, stir it twice
Add something green to the soup
The guests will rave every time
And they’ll wonder
Leave them guessing
Swirl it in
Mix it up
Something unexpected
A unique twist on a classic dish
It’ll be out of this world
If I take your advice
To “Throw in some aliens”
Then we’ll see
Everyone’s sure to want
My recipe

LM 2017

I was rewarded with “Stellar Work!” and “theremin sounds” This made my brain happy. I probably had to remind it about the Scotland thing to calm it down. What can I say? I get a lot of brain crushes. I also like to riff off other creative people and to collaborate.

By the way, if you or anyone you know likes to read, YA Science Fiction. you should check out J.D. Robinson’s book, The Hole In The World. He just came out with an updated edition and it’s available in paperback and for Kindle. Like many writers, Scamper hates promoting his own work, so running across this poem was a good reason to give it a shout out! I highly recommend it as it is an excellent read!

holeintheworld

 

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Conversations With Denial

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*The part of Denial is played by my cat LiLi

whisker

LiLi: What are that? It tickles.
Me: You lost a whisker.
LiLi: That’s very interesting, but that’s not mine.
Me: It is yours. I’m saving it. Usually you drop your one white whisker so I never find it. You always look odd until it grows back again.
LiLi: No, that’s not mine.
Me: Do you see any other cats in this room?
LiLi: I have all my parts!
Me: Uh. Remember that time I took you to work with me at the veterinary hospital and you fell asleep and when you woke up your belly was shaved and you were sore for a few days?
LiLi: Eh, vaguely.
Me: Yeah, well. We took out some of your parts.
LiLi: *yawns* Clearly, you do not fear me adequately. Fortunately for you, clawing your face off does not fit into my schedule.
Me: I just trimmed your nails!
LiLi: You just make things up all the time. *sigh* I nap now.

Slow Start To The New Year

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In this episode: Lorelei discovers she may have a new spirit animal, finds she is losing patience with white fragility, and laments her lack of appreciation for brawny Scotsmen; if they are real Scotsmen (they may be American models in kilts for all she knows)

I Can Haz New Spirit Animal?

26165565_10209877033073681_7194738149102289868_nHaving an invisible chronic illness really puts a damper on my otherwise exciting life. We’ve talked about that before, right? Although, I suppose it is exciting never to know exactly what you are up to on any given day, eh? It’s like a spinning wheel of fortune at a cardboard carnival. Will I reach my destination today? Oh look, I won three whole days in bed, all expenses NOT paid, but a bonus party in my cranium! Hooray! A couple of things I can generally count on though: Chronic Lateness and Low Energy.

Messaging with to my roommate who was encouraging me to do…..stuff:

Think of me as a sloth person. I have a huge, “to do” list, but it takes me a full day to climb down the tree just to drop my weekly poo.

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And I realized that I had just summed myself up perfectly.

Damn.

Best New Year’s Eve Ever!

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Prologue:

The year started off with a magnificent full moon, but I forgot to go outside and see it. It gave me an excuse to thank my friends for putting up with all my Moon jokes in 2017. On social media, and in conversation anytime someone mentions, the moon, regardless of context, I almost compulsively comment as if they are talking about me. My last name is, Moon, get it? My sense of humor is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is not nearly as groan worthy as my father’s was.  I blame my, inner 12 year old, my favorite, “get out of maturity” card.

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By the way, this gorgeous painting is by an artist named, Jana Ireijo. It’s only $450. If I had a wall to hang it on, I’d probably be batting my eyelashes and saying, “please” a lot, right now.

Part One: Not Exactly Flush With Festive Spirit, My Inner Virgo, Pulls Out My To Do List

I have to say, I wasn’t sorry to see 2017 go, but I wasn’t feeling particularly excited about 2018 either. My situation is still a challenge, my soul still feels like it is weighed down by a stack of pianos topped by a vengeful elephant who is not tickled by the ivories! The ugliness that crowns our country is still swirling through it the way that murky flood waters churn, hiding shit and disease, dangerous objects and death. I don’t see much improvement on the horizon without a proper shakeup. Yes, it could happen, but I’m just not excited.

I was so, not feeling anything, this time around that I couldn’t even dig up a smidge of envy at the revelers gushing of their plans to party and dance the night away. I had nowhere to go. I didn’t feel up to making myself shiny and putting on a festive face. For once, the idea of kissing someone at midnight didn’t even glimmer in my mind. My loneliness was barely a blip on my radar. I just wanted it to be tomorrow already, to mark off another day of gears grinding. Honestly, my apathy was liberating.

I didn’t have any work, but I have been caring for my roommate’s cat. He’s been traveling a lot lately. He was home briefly and left again without buying cat litter and I had already used up the last of LiLi’s litter, adding it to his cat, Ichi’s box.  Things were getting smelly. I had to buy cat litter for both of them now, and so I ended up at Safeway on New Year’s Eve with two plastic jugs of gritty clay in my cart, while everyone else was buying alcohol.  You know you have reached the climax of full blown Cat Lady Spinsterhood when you spend your New Year’s Eve at Safeway, buying cat litter for your roommate’s cat. At least I put on lipstick and combed my hair first and I wasn’t in my bathrobe. Go me!

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As if restocking the cat toilet on New Year’s Eve wasn’t awkward enough, I happened to step into line behind a former neighbor in the checkout. Continue reading

Conversations With Opie

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I used to be smitten with a  pair of cats; Opie and The Mysterious Germoe. After a while a third cat, Funky Ear Tony came to live with them. They lived in a house called, The Fear and Loathing, in Oakland, California. Sadly, their parents distanced themselves from me and I still don’t know why. Ouch. That’s fodder for another, more serious blog, I suppose. It’s water under the bridge now because they all moved to Georgia and they live in a lovely house called, Hope Springs and I only catch up on their adventures through Facebook.

Anyway, Opie, a very floofy ginger, used to get his treats from a little egg that would roll across the floor. (I suppose he still does, it’s just that someone else does it now) They would drop out one by one and it was very exciting for him to chase them. (Exercise) He also has very thick Maine Coonish fur. This is a typical exchange. You will relate if you have cats, if you have cats with thick coats that toss up hairballs or have tried to take photos of your pets only to watch them move as you click the shutter.

ME: Hey Op. Now that you have had your “exercise” chasing the magic egg around the floor and gobbling the treats that fell out of it, how about you let me brush you?

OPIE: More treats!

ME: No Op. You got quite a few this time. I gotta cut you off! No exploding Opie, Ok? How about a good brushing?

OPIE: *Rubs against his Pet Nanny*  Lots of pets?

Continue reading

Conversations With THE KITTY! (In A New Place On Moving Day)

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This is LiLi, the cat of many names. AKA Merph, Merphy Brown, Captain Merphlepoof, Monkey Butt and of course, Grumpitha to name a few. Alas! If only I’d had a computer at the time, we could have beat that Grumpy Cat to fame and fortune!

Merph: What the hell Mom?
But wait. ALL our stuff is here so this isn’t a sleepover spot. But why is the bed surrounded by towers of boxes? I’m not sure if this is adequate or not. You sure are lucky that I’m so good with new environments!

Me: At least, “Stompy McStomperson” (our former loud housemate) isn’t here. Oh boy, but wait until you hear the garage door!

LiLi aka Merph: I don’t know what a garage door is, but MY bed is here which I will share with you. In other words I will sleep with my butt in your face.

Me: Okay. Thanks?

LiLi: By the way this “view” is fantastic!
(Kitty sarcasm)
So, Puuurrrrrrr.

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The fantastic view!

Me: Don’t be mad. I can’t figure out where your food bowls and your toys are. I just checked with my client and she says I didn’t leave them behind. Maybe they are in the trunk of the car.

LiLi: This is most inadequate. I demand that you go find them at once!

Me: Maybe when it stops raining. I just changed my clothes. The ones I was wearing are soaking wet.

LiLi: What is it about, “At Once!” that was not clear?

Me: How about I make the bed?

LiLi: I not purr now.

Me: Tough love. Tough love.

 

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Once again, trapped under a kitty.

It turns out that Merph is completely nonplussed by our bedroom being over the garage. That big noisy gate doesn’t even make her ears twitch. Frankly, it’s soothing compared to all the noise at the last few places we lived. The rain sound is not the best, no roof, just water slapping pavement, but it’s not the worst either. It’s nicer when I close the window.) 

 

 

(A little while later)

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Merph: You find my food bowls yet?

Me: It’s still raining. I have to go look in the car.

Merph: Inadequate. Most Inadequate!

Me: Besides, how can I do anything when you are on my lap?

Merph: Magic! Duh.

 

Me: I can’t even make the bed because you won’t move.

Merph: I helping!

Me: Cats seriously have a strange idea if what, “helping” means.

Merph: Bowls now?

Me: *bonk*

(And later that day….)

Me: (finally) Merph, I found your food bowl, your crunchies and your toys.

Merph: Eh. I’m busy sitting in this basket.

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Put down a basket, even a smooshed one, and voila, in goes a cat! It must be in their DNA.

Me: Loooook, I filled your water bowl!

Merph: Yeah, I might get to that later.

Me: OK then, I’ll just put this catnip away.

MerphCATNIP!!!!

boxes and boxes

Yes, and this is me, a short while after the movers left. And yes, those are boxes, boxes and still more boxes! I confess, it’s been a year and some still aren’t unpacked.          

-LM 2016 / 2017

#Derailed

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This poem is fairly self explanatory. Those of you that write will understand this vexation, I’m sure. It’s not the same as writer’s block, it’s when you have plenty in your head to write then something irritates you so much that you soon realize your concentration like Elvis has left the building! I always try to deal with stress creatively and with humor. I felt better after writing this.

Derailed

‪#‎DERAILED‬

I started out my evening dressed in warmest brown
But now I’m feeling cold as bones and frankly, a bit down
Since fate had decreed that tonight I’d be alone
I figured I’d hunker down and get some things done
I found a place to write and have some citrus tea
A nook with nondescript music playing quietly
I cracked my notebook, uncapped my pen, pondered what I’d sew
I sipped my tea and just like that, words began to flow
Until the speaker above my pate phased in and out and crackled
And irritating, upbeat music started blaring out of it quite loud
I tried to press on past my second paragraph

I couldn’t concentrate so I tried a change of habitat
The waitress, sweet, apologized and went to turn it down
But the muse had packed her sumptuous bags and moved right out of town
And now I just feel empty, frustrated and beat
And the story in my head remains a partially sprouted seed
All I really wanted was a bit of quiet time
But now I think I may need chocolate, I think I may need wine

-LM September 2015