Please Help Lorelei Moon Avoid Homelessness & Find Safe Haven!

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Dear Readers, Friends and Charitable Folks,

I am in dire straits and desperately need your help!

As someone who has been fairly self sufficient most of my life and prefers to be the one reaching out with a helping hand, asking for help can be excruciating and humiliating but in the past few years, it is something I have learned to do. It has never become easy or comfortable to admit I need help and lack the resources to push through. Will alone is not always enough. So here I am with a huge financial ask.

Barring a miracle, as of August 1, 2017. I will be homeless. Pride goes out the window when personal safety comes into play. I know my cat and I will not survive on the street. I do not want to get arrested for sleeping in my car or for me or my cat to die staying in a hot car. I don’t want to get raped or die sleeping on the street. Shelters aren’t much safer and they are maxed out. So here I am. HELP.

I need $1200 in the next couple of days.
Ultimately, I need to raise a grand total of about $5,000 as soon as possible just to get me to a place where I can have a chance at stability. I am considering, though it is a huge ask, trying to raise more in order to secure some sort of alternative housing like an RV or tiny house, but that is off the table now.
(Update on fundraising progress  will be at the bottom of this post)

Some of you know me, know a bit about my background and why I need this sudden influx of money. For the rest of you, here is an introduction and an explanation:

I grew up in the Central Valley. My parents were teachers. I went to college in Fresno where I studied Art History and Anthropology. I have a pretty eclectic background. My academic areas of study were Art History and Anthropology. Among other things, my work history includes, running a mobile bar, restaurant and barista work, art gallery management, fine art sales, retail sales, craft services for small independent film projects, being a licensed optician, working in a law office for a bankruptcy trustee, and I was also a veterinary assistant for many years. I have worked for myself as a pet-sitter for more than twenty-five years and I have loyal clients who go back more than twenty years. I also do personal organizing, interior design and tarot readings. I’ve been a vocalist, an artist, a writer and occasionally, an actress. I also make handcrafted soap and have several other creative pursuits.

I am pretty proud of this. I came from an incredibly abusive family background yet I turned out to be quite resilient and instead of getting involved with drugs or alcohol, I chose creative outlets. I have worked diligently to overcome the hardships in my life, turn my past into something positive and to help other people. One of the things I have been working on is a self esteem building project and blog to support and encourage people who struggle with the aftermath of abusive relationships or childhood trauma. I’ve had very positive responses, but again, when you are trying to get your own basic needs met it’s difficult to give this kind of work the focus it deserves. Those of you who read my blog know that sometimes their are long gaps between posts. Again, it is hard to focus on telling stories when you are constantly having to put out fires in real life. Is my home safe? How long can I stay here? Will I be able to eat today?

The past few years, I have basically been in the process of trying to build a productive and purposeful life after everything I previously gained went ass over teakettle.  Not having a reliable place to live has been tremendously challenging for me. I have had to move every couple of years because when your income is low, you don’t have a lot of options for stable, long term housing in the bay area. I have been coming back to life after pretty much a total loss in 2011; going through the process of getting SSDI, getting a bank account, getting a car, rebuilding my business, etc. I have been spending a lot of time in survival mode.

Beginning in 2009 when the economy crumbled, my life started to fall apart. I went through a series of truly unfortunate events, financial, personal and health that caused me to lose pretty much everything. I had never gone more than two weeks in my adult life without steady employment and suddenly, I was no longer able to support myself with  regular work. It sent me into a spiral that many other people experienced around the same time and I had no family safety net to fall into. I quickly went through my savings. I ended up having to leave a house that I had called home for more than a decade. In haste all my possessions went into storage. I was certain I would rebound as I always have, but I was unable to keep up the storage payments and lost everything about a year later, not just things like furniture, but highly personal, irreplaceable items.

Despite this, I just kept trying. It took longer than I had hoped, but I now have an unsecured bank account and my own car with insurance I can afford. The little things I used to take for granted are huge now. I still need to fix my credit and I don’t have a very big budget for rent and utilities. Being a disabled woman with a 17 year old cat living in extreme poverty is not easy in the Bay Area, however, I have been persistent and have found places. My most recent rent was $585 in a very desirable area, so it is possible. I have not always been in places so ideal but I am now on waiting lists for subsidized housing and it’s just a waiting game. I have been told it can take up to 5 years. I realize now, that what I need most to get on my feet and stay there, is a stable place to live where I am not subject to someone’s whims, personal problems or life changes. In 2011, after losing my home I stayed in ten or eleven different places over the course of that year. Some were lovely, others could easily be called Hellholes!

In the past five and a half years, I have had to move three times:

1) Landlady decided she wanted to have a “party house lifestyle”
2) Master Tenant got engaged and wanted to move his fiancee in. His mother owned the house.
3) And the most recent place, which has been so lovely up until now, is ending because my roommate went through a bad breakup and made a sudden decision to move to Southern California to be with family and reunite with a former beau.

I need help to break this cycle!

I am 51 and disabled. I have complex PTSD, anxiety, neuropathy which may be related to MS, and mobility problems due to back injuries and arthritis. I don’t have savings. I don’t have credit cards.I don’t have family or a partner to lean on. I cannot afford to move every two years. It is nearly impossible to get your life together when you do not have the security of consistent basic shelter. At this point, I think my wisest choice is to throw everything I have in this apartment into storage, find the cheapest place possible and keep minimal things with me while continuing to apply for low income housing and long term alternatives. If something comes available, I am also going to need to have money to cover move in costs right away. *If I am living in a long term place with enough space that I don’t have to store most of my possessions, my max budget is $560 including utilities. If I have to keep everything in storage, it means I need to find a tiny spot for maybe $3-350 until I can downsize my storage and then it would bump up to $450. I know, sounds impossible.

My current roommate is not good with communication and did not handle things well. He told me about his decision to move quite suddenly and did not give me proper notice. He has thrown out several dates, agreed to one, then suggested a shorter timeline and when I told him what would be legal and acceptable he stopped speaking to me. He brought a girlfriend into the equation who is volatile and unbalanced. She violently attacked me without provocation, damaging my larynx, threatened my life and has continued to harass me. It was a tough decision, but I decided not to follow through with a restraining order, mostly because this person will be returning to Southern California soon and most likely, I will never see her again. (I do have things in place with law enforcement to move forward if she attempts to get physical again.)

As far as I can tell from the amount of packing he has done, my roommate probably gave the landlord notice that he would vacate August 1st. He has violated California law and local ordinances by not giving me notice, however,  I am not on the rental agreement and cannot afford the entire rent on my own so I see no point in asserting legal rights or creating drama. Despite everything, I hope to salvage the friendship and I also need him as a reference so I hope to take the peaceful road. The best I can do is be out as quickly as possible. I may have to go to the landlord and ask for an extension. I have rights, however, that doesn’t mean that they will honor them.

I  so badly want to have a peaceful and safe life. I feel I have so much to contribute but constantly having to deal with crises has held me back, both from creative pursuits and also from helping other people. I so badly want to do more volunteer work and to be able to help people one on one. I have not been able to volunteer or be involved in things anywhere near as much as I would like, but I have said yes, as often as I could. This might mean a one day trip with others to volunteer at the food bank, giving peer counseling or emotional support or helping with transportation or errands. In the past, I did volunteer work with a variety of things; the Food Bank, the SF Aids Walk, Oakland Historic Alliance, to name a few. Some areas of personal interest  include, Civil rights, LGBTQ issues, Black Lives Matter, Body Positivity, Rent control and tenant’s rights, access to care and services for the elderly and disabled, and support for the arts. It is important to me to be able to contribute in some way, no matter how small.

I know the area I live in is expensive and you may be wondering why I don’t move somewhere with a lower cost of living.

I would like to address that:

1) When you are on a limited income and have no savings you still need a great deal of money to move somewhere else.

2) I am on several waiting lists for local permanent low income housing and if I move away, I lose those spots

3) All of my medical, psychological and logistical support is here.

4) I have lived here for more than 30 years. All of my personal support is here. I have long term close friendships.

5) My supplemental income is established here. I have long term loyal clients I can count on.

I will eventually get into long term affordable housing here if I can just hang on. I have a social worker who is assisting me and I am applying constantly as waiting lists open and sites become available. I am on several lists. It could happen in a month or it could take three to five years. I have also looked into alternative housing for instance, raising money to build a simple tiny house, buy a motorhome,  RV trailer or even something like a yurt. But renting spaces to park these things is nearly as expensive as an apartment and I have yet to find someone who has land or a backyard that is willing to let me set something up.

Because of my situation, at the moment, I have decided not to do an official fundraiser through an online crowdfunding platform. I don’t want to deal with the fees or the publicity. Your donation is not tax deductible anyway. In addition to my undying gratitude, at some point when things quiet down I will happily thank you with a crafty thing, some art or perhaps dedicate a poem or story to you.

I am hoping for $5,000 all told. Here is a breakdown of what I need:

The most urgent:

$900 – $1,200 to get me moved out of my apartment. I have secured a good sized storage unit already. This would include any supplies, gas, truck rental, labor and hopefully get me an emergency place to stay at least for a few nights to get my bearings and network so I do not end up sleeping in my car with my cat.

$320 – $460 to cover the cost of the new storage unit for two to three more months giving me time to consolidate, downsize and find either a permanent home or temporary digs cheap enough that paying for storage will not be a problem. Currently, the storage is only paid until September.

$1,650 to have at the ready to cover move in costs and deposits at a place within my budget. My max budget is $550. Move in costs are usually 3 times the rent.

$500-$600 for emergency car repairs. I have been driving with very bad brakes for two years. The estimated repair cost and risk keeps escalating.

It would also help me tremendously to have money for the following:

$150 for a new phone. I have had one hand me down smart phone after another and they just keep wearing out and having glitches. In my situation a decent, functional smartphone is absolutely critical. I do not need the newest, fanciest thing, but I need a good one! I have one picked out that works with my carrier.

$160 – $300 for my cat to go to the vet for tests. LiLi is 17. Up until the past few years she has had excellent care but I have had to put off anything beyond the most basic requirements because I can’t save money. She has had a persistent cough and clearly, her kidneys are not working like they used to. She needs a senior blood panel and urinalysis so we can see what is going on with her and if it is something to worry about or if it is even treatable Depending on the results, she may need an X-Ray. Most charitable organizations who assist with vet bills need you to get a diagnosis first.

All this adds up to $3,680 on the low end and $4360 at the high end. I am just going to ask for an even $5,000 because I think it will cover everything and give me a little cushion. Anything extra will be frugally applied to living expenses, basic necessities or moving costs when I get an apartment.

Anything, no matter how small, will help. If you can’t help, your prayers and good thoughts are appreciated, but also, if you have trusted friends / circles you want to share this with, please do! I am in such a desperate situation.

Here are several ways you can get help directly to me:

1) Square Cash is my favorite. It is secure and very fast. https://cash.me/ My “Cash Tag” is $LMoon

Facebook is also super fast! If you are connected to me on Facebook you can send me an instant payment via Messenger. If we are not linked, I believe you can still do it. Here is my profile link: https://www.facebook.com/Lorelei.Moon

If you want to send a check or money order, please contact me for an address.
If you would like to hold a fundraiser on my behalf, please contact me.
If you have questions or ideas of other ways you can help, please contact me.
If you send something and wish me to apply it to a specific thing on the list, let me know. Initially, everything is going to go towards getting out.
If you send money, please contact me with your information so I may thank you and give you a gift when all this is over.
My PayPal and Venmo accounts are not currently active, sorry. I am working on that.

 

 



Thank you so much! I look forward to putting this behind me so I can write things you will enjoy reading again!

-Lorelei Moon

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Censored

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Here is another snippet from the larger piece I am working on which at the moment I am calling, The Misterious. At this point it is not necessary to read these in any sort of order, but if you go to the menu bar at the left and click on stories, you will find a tab that gives you all the posts related to this story. Sometimes deciding what to post is tricky because at some point, things I would rather leave out now will be plugged in later. For one, the place I am writing about, I think I intend to base on a real place, but I want to leave that out now.  Just think of it as a journal of sorts written by a person in a place that may or may not exist as we would know it. Okay. I am explaining too much. Enjoy!

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Despite being physically isolated, we do get physical things from the outside world and communication isn’t completely cut off. It’s just spotty. As I write this, I’m not sure that anyone out there will ever read it. Getting through to someone via the phone or internet is an unpredictable venture and once you do get signals you can’t count on them to go as far as you would like. You can get on the internet but you can’t see everything. Strangely enough, you can almost always get communication within the city itself, just try to reach anywhere outside and success is a toss up. There’s no explanation or even acknowledgement of this. When you try to talk to anyone from out there about the weird things going on in here or if you ask, what the heck is happening where they are, the connection drops or you get interference. I suppose it’s a bit like what people have dealt with for years in countries where the government controls everything. There’s no, “access denied message” or warning. What you are looking for is simply not there.

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It would be nice to find out something tangible. Coming up on two years and I still don’t know who’s in charge out there, why we’re stuck here or whether that weirdness is really anything to be concerned about. After all, it hasn’t made me sick. I think I’m still sane. I haven’t seen zombies or anyone with an arm growing out of their forehead. Then again, I stay the hell away from that part of town! Why take chances?

Today, I talked to Quinn. Quinn was lucky enough to be visiting family down south when the barricades went up. I say, lucky, assuming that things aren’t as screwy out there as they are in here. But I don’t know because every time we try to talk about it; static. This time, he was trying to ask me questions and the line kept cutting in and out. When we discussed more benign topics, however,  we heard each other perfectly.

Quinn has two cats, Beans and Lucy. For all practical purposes, they’re my cats now. Lucy, a small black ball of plushness is ancient. Lately, she seems to be failing and I don’t know whether it’s time to tell him or if I should just avoid giving him something to fret about that he can’t control. Quinn is not generally a worrier, but I am sure this situation tests that enviable trait. I am not even sure we have a veterinarian here anymore to take her to, but I am searching. The city is so empty now. I told Quinn I had loaded up some photos to my web page, but he said that parts of my posts were just blurred out. He didn’t see any photos.  Owl can see them. I can see them. But outside, they are out of focus. Owl says he is working on a way to circumvent this. I’m not tech savvy enough to begin to think about how to do that. I probably shouldn’t mention this. Will they, whoever they are, be watching us now?

tumblr_inline_nm0avoT28s1smxh5i_500It’s strange. It’s frustrating. Still, I take what I can get. It’s good to talk to Quinn. It’s nice to hear his voice. There is comfort in the connection. Even if it is censored, it’s grounding. I suspect the news is edited, but it brings a sense of normalcy. Though I can’t find everything, I’m able to boot up my computer to search the web for information and giggles much the same as before. For now, some things remain hidden. I hope they won’t always be that way. While I generally enjoy a bit of mystery, being left entirely in the dark is wearing thin. I have no idea if my words will find their way out. I just write because it seems someone should be keeping a record of this. Even my trivial words feel weighty, like evidence of my existence. We are here, those of us left behind. We matter.

For now, we live indefinitely in a figurative bubble. Sometimes I like to pretend that I am actually alone, that there is no other human living within the miles of rectangles that dot the landscape. I think about what it must have been like when this place was untouched by humans, primordial and blanketed with trees. I wonder if the trees will someday find a way to reclaim the territory; libraries, houses, schools and supermarkets buried like ancient temples under the roots of the jungle. I tell myself that I am the last human on earth. Sometimes, I even think I would be fine if that were true. It’s a peaceful place to go in my head, but in reality, I’m glad for the connection, any connection. I am here. You still see me. I see you. We are separated but not alone.

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The Moonlight

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I’ve been posting a lot of poems of late and people have been asking for story bits. This is one of my favorite little pieces of writing. I admit, I am ridiculously fond of it. I haven’t decided if it’s a “fragmeant” that I may develop further or if it’s complete as is. “The Moonlight” is only a working title. I’m not quite sure what to call it. Ideas?

A magical thing doesn’t lose its usefulness if it changes its state.

PhotographerThe moonbeams scattered everywhere, fractured light spilling all over the carpet!

“Oh no!” the Sunny Marmalade Cat cried out softly, “You’ve broken them! Every single one!” He tried to sweep them into a pile with his tail but they began to degrade into a shimmering powder, transforming into a dancing puddle of light. Bits of silver stuck to his fur like beads of mercury and scattered as he flicked his tail, vexed.

“Oh Dear!” the Asynchronous Clock ticked nervously.”Oh Dear. Oh Dear. Oh Dear. What shall we do now?” And though she tried to keep her hands from moving, they clicked into place, striking the hour and she began to chime!

This caused the Good Mourning Dove to coo and cluck and leave a little icing on the edge of the window sill.

Everyone froze, poised to flee at the sound of a breath or a step, but all remained still.

The Midnight Velvet Cat hissed for attention and once she had it she pushed at the remains of the moonlight with her paw. “We have to be moving, now! We mustn’t let ourselves be discovered. But we can’t leave this here. They will never understand.”

The Good Mourning Dove pecked at the silvery soot with his beak. It was very cold and left a slightly uncomfortable tingling sensation. He shuffled away mumbling, “Well isn’t it useless now? If they find it, they’ll have no idea what it is. In the daylight it will look less like diamonds and more like dust, won’t it?”

The Midnight Coal Cat fixed her great green eyes on the bird and shook her head gently. “No. That will not do and it wouldn’t be safe. They might not know what it is but they will know that it doesn’t belong here either.

A magical thing doesn’t lose its usefulness if it changes its state. We just don’t know what its new purpose will be! We brought it here and we must take it with us. We have to figure out a way to transport it.”

The dove pecked at the curtains thoughtfully, walked the length of the ledge and back, opened and closed his beak a few times. Suddenly he exclaimed, “I have an idea!” Then he hopped off the ledge and disappeared into the night. When he returned a few moments later, the Hopeful Little Dog, who had been diligently keeping watch appeared next to him.

“How can I help?” she panted eagerly. Then she noticed. “Is that? Oh no! How? Oh nevermind, what are we going too…O-oh, I’ve got it!”

And, in a blink she had gobbled up every last bit of moonlight, licking the floor and even the Sunny Marmalade Cat’s tail just to be certain of her thoroughness.

The Asynchronous Clock could not resist, “Good…. Dog!” she ticked happily.

“So it’s true,” the Sunny Marmalade Cat said wryly, “A dog really will eat anything without checking to see if it’s food first.”

The Midnight Coal Cat batted the orange cat’s pink nose with a cushiony paw. “It’s time for gratitude, not jokes.” she chided and rubbed against the Hopeful Little Dog in appreciation causing the her to wag her curly nub of a tail furiously. She wanted desperately to bark her excitement but she held it back. She was chilled and tingly inside, full of energy yet somewhere deep within was a new calm center. It was a little like the time she had chewed wild peppermint as a pup but without the strong flavor and much, much colder.

The little party made their way over the window sill and back outside, quickly navigating the garden path and the meadow. They made it into the woods without further incident. As they moved farther away from the treeline into the dense forest, it became much harder to see the path. They debated the lost time of waiting for daylight against the possibility of missing a marker, getting lost or hurt in the darkness.

The Hopeful Little dog paced back and forth, her blue eye glimmering faintly, her brown eye virtually invisible in the murkiness, just like the Midnight Velvet Cat. Suddenly, she stopped, looked straight ahead and opened her mouth. Light spilled out illuminating the path.

“Well that settles that.” said the Midnight Coal cat. “Purrfect!”

And they all started down the newly moonlit path, suddenly feeling much more optimistic.

But they were not alone and despite their combined, superior senses they did not seem to register it. Surely they would have perceived fear or predatory focus, but lacking that simply assumed they were hearing and smelling a mere resident of the forest busy with it’s nocturnal habits. Maybe, the magic was working and they did not sense me. All the same, I held back, keeping as much distance as I could without losing them. Walking so slowly and quietly tensed my legs and they started to ache.

If only I could be an owl, I thought. I could glide above them on wings of whisper quiet. I could rest up when I got ahead of them, up in high branches, seeing them perfectly with my spectacular night vision. And I could easily make out every word of their conversation. As long as it served me, I would so like to be an owl!

And I was.

-LM 2015/2016

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Ghost Town

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(At this point it is not necessary to read these in any particular order)

I’ve been on a roll of late posting a lot of things that aren’t stories or even bits of stories. I have been writing fiction, I just haven’t been posting it. I suppose if I ever get in the habit of posting daily or a few times a week with regularity, more will get here.

This is the first thing I’ve posted from a longer work that has been percolating for awhile. I have decided that I need to do some research on things like climate change, natural disasters, geography, politics and economics, among other things before I flesh it out in any serious way, not because I am going to need them all that much in the story, but because I personally want the foundation to build it on. I guess it’s sort of SciFi, maybe more speculative fiction. I’m vacillating between it taken place somewhere that exists now vs somewhere completely imaginary. Oh, it’s a hot mess that wants to come out!

Anyway, the title for working purposes only, is, The Misterious, so that’s what it will be tagged as when I post other fragmeants of it! I’m not entirely happy with this bit, but it wanted out of my head desperately so, here ya go:

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GHOST TOWN

I try to time my late night ramblings so that I will have the lowest chance of running into another soul. If I head out too early in the morning I’ll likely catch maintenence, blowing off the sidewalks, cleaning the glass and storefront trims, watering plants  or hosing off the benches. Sometimes during the day or early in the evening  I’ll see a lone vehicle or run into an actual human being on the street or sweeping their porch. Too early in the late evening and you might run into a PigBot, have to explain yourself or worse. Too late in the late evening and you might run into a wild animal you can’t handle or the Red Eyes. Jimmy likes to call them the Cylons. That makes me laugh.

The perfect time for me is the middle of the night. Lights might still be on in some of the buildings. I make a game of guessing which yellow squares of light are actually occupied and which simply had lights on when the inhabitants left, with no reason to suspect  they wouldn’t return. Building lights are mostly on automatic, but individual apartments and houses are more intriguing puzzles. For weeks, after it happened, my attention was fixed on a large television screen visible through an upper window in a building about a block from my place. It must have been set on a timer as  it came on early every evening and shut off at one every morning. I walked past the apartment building it sat in nearly every day. It’s my habit to scan windows, doors and porches in particular.  One day, I could see it was gone. Presumably, a neighbor finally decided they might as well have it.


There are small clues. Sometimes bulbs will burn out and you know there is no one living there because once they go dark, they stay that way. Keep watching and more lights in the same place will go out and stay out one by one. On the floor below the place with the TV is another apartment that caught my eye.  It has four long curtains, knotted at the bottom which make striking silhouettes at night. I assumed it was unoccupied, especially after one evening seeing the window was dark. I assumed the light had gone out. But the next day I  looked up to  realize someone had merely closed all the drapes. A few days later, I noticed they were knotted up again. Hello neighbor! Were you hiding your new TV?

When I decide to stay somewhere else for a few days or head up to The Bunker, I always set lights and things that make sound on varying timers. Owl showed me how to rig up some techy things that sound like conversation, cooking sounds, a dog. So far, no one has broken into my place, only another neighbor would be a likely burglar anyway and they all know I’m here, but I have gone many places I did not belong. That concept is slippery for me though. I’m not sure it’s breaking and entering or stealing when the likelihood is, no one’s coming back.

In the middle of the night benches look inviting, yet eerie. I find myself wanting to sit on them, but at the last second, I balk, feeling like an intruder.  A presence is there, the heavy presence of nothing.  It’s become a ghost town, except that it isn’t. I think everyone has to leave for a place to become a ghost town; population zero, only ghosts. Our populace has been dramatically reduced, but people still occupy the buildings. They live, but they aren’t really living. How do you get up and go to work when you can’t leave the city or your job in the city no longer exists? Few of us know what to do with ourselves. We shuffle about this place that isn’t  an actual ghost town. The city is a shell, populated by shadows of lives that once vibrantly filled it. We are the ghosts.

It should creep me out walking around my neighborhood in the wee hours thinking about this stuff. But the buildings in daylight are much more disturbing. They all look abandoned so of course, you can just feel someone watching. You squint at the squares of grey and you think you see a shadow staring back. The emptiness is pronounced. The loneliness is oppressive. At night, it’s peaceful, a perfect stillness. All I can hear are the sounds of water, wind and night birds. Sometimes I even hear the occasional car. It’s not that different from the way it was before. I’m lulled by the comfort of warmly lit apartments, the illusion of life. I can almost forget.

Almost.

My Shoes!

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I’m finishing and loading up a bunch of things today, because I had that marvelous combination of time, internet access and my neuropathy being veddy, veddy quiet. Enjoy!

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“You can’t understand someone until youve walked a mile in their shoes.”

What a ridiculous idea! I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes for two steps and I won’t let you walk a mile in mine. I wouldn’t even let you walk around the block in them.

This is my path. My pain. My difficult road. And sometimes, it’s my easy street. You couldn’t stand to wear my shoes for a minute. Stop looking at them.

This isn’t some kind of challenge. And walking in my shoes won’t make you more empathetic or less judgemental. You’ll just end up pissed off with sore toes and a twisted ankle.

Oh, it’s possible the whole experience would give you some fleeting respect, a little awe for how I’ve managed to traverse such uneven ground in mismatched shoes for all these years. You might marvel at how most of the scars from my falls ended up on my insides instead of on my knees. But your appreciation won’t last because after you’ve taken your pity tour, you’ll be tottering along in your own shoes again, feeling quite superior. While you’re strolling easily or scrambling over debris in YOUR path, you’ll forget all about walking a mile or a minute of mine, although from time to time it may cross your mind that you’re glad you don’t have to.

I’ll let you in on a little secret because I know you won’t remember it next time we meet. I don’t always walk in my shoes either. Sometimes I kick them off and run completely off track for a while plunging my bare feet in sand or wiggling my toes in the grass. Sometimes I stop and lie flat on my back and thrust my feet into the cool night air and laugh at the sensation of lightness.

Sometimes I think subversive thoughts about not putting them back on again or just buying a new pair. But, no, they’re my shoes. Sometimes; a comfortable old friend, sometimes a particularly cruel bully that shadows me home, taking my refuge. Some days they hurt me to my bones, other days they soothes my soles.

I’ll walk in them until they become ghosts. When they fall off in tatters, I’ll walk barefoot until the sun sets.

LM – 2014 / 2016 /2017

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Conversations With Opie

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I used to be smitten with a  pair of cats; Opie and The Mysterious Germoe. After a while a third cat, Funky Ear Tony came to live with them. They lived in a house called, The Fear and Loathing, in Oakland, California. Sadly, their parents distanced themselves from me and I still don’t know why. Ouch. That’s fodder for another, more serious blog, I suppose. It’s water under the bridge now because they all moved to Georgia and they live in a lovely house called, Hope Springs and I only catch up on their adventures through Facebook.

Anyway, Opie, a very floofy ginger, used to get his treats from a little egg that would roll across the floor. (I suppose he still does, it’s just that someone else does it now) They would drop out one by one and it was very exciting for him to chase them. (Exercise) He also has very thick Maine Coonish fur. This is a typical exchange. You will relate if you have cats, if you have cats with thick coats that toss up hairballs or have tried to take photos of your pets only to watch them move as you click the shutter.

ME: Hey Op. Now that you have had your “exercise” chasing the magic egg around the floor and gobbling the treats that fell out of it, how about you let me brush you?

OPIE: More treats!

ME: No Op. You got quite a few this time. I gotta cut you off! No exploding Opie, Ok? How about a good brushing?

OPIE: *Rubs against his Pet Nanny*  Lots of pets?

ME: *gives Sir Fluffalot a good scritch*  Of course, you may have all the pets you like, but you are looking pretty woolly little dude. I’m going to brush you too!

*rubs sturdy brush over Opie’s fluff but not much happens*
*Opie exhibits the cat version of a shrug, sniffs brush. Rubs chin on it.*

OPIE: Oooooh scratchy! *continues to rub the brush.*

ME: Let’s try brushing again

OPIE: *Shrug. Rub. Scratch*

ME: *Tries again to brush Opie thoroughly*  What the heck Op? Your fluff is like armor! My brush is powerless against it. I got like three loose hairs! Where do all those orange hairballs come from if your fuzz doesn’t come loose?

OPIE: *looks nonchalant*

ME: Ok. Well, while I have your attention you photogenic rascal, let me just grab my phone and get a picture for your parents who miss you!

OPIE: Ok.

ME: Cool! Got it! Oh that’s so cute. Let me just get it into focus and *click*

*Opie has walked away*

ME: Cats! *sigh*

LM 2015/2017

Opie

The Inimitable Opie!

 

As Deep As The Sea

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Here’s a short poem I just unearthed that I wrote a few years ago.

As Deep As the Sea

It took some searching, but I believe the artist who did this is: Emerald De Leeuw

As Deep As The Sea

Dive into my eyes
As deep as the sea
If I promise not to drown you, will you come play with me?
I’ll teach you the dance
Put your hand ’round my back
I’ll share my pearls, luminous. I will give you the map
To all my hidden treasures
And all my sacred songs
If you want to, dive in, for I may not be here long

-LM 2013